The Blogerati Files: Kill the Goat

kill_the_goat_blogerati.jpg This week in the Blogerati Files, Kill the Goat

Describe your blog in 10 words or less.
No goats were harmed during the making of this blog.

Why did you start your blog? Blogiversary?
I started Kill the Goat October 16, 2004. I started a blog because my husband Jason had one, and despite the fact that I constantly berated him for this "ultra nerdy" occupation, I couldn't resist my urge to always be one-upping him.

How long have you lived in Toronto?
I have lived in Toronto for 254 more-or-less consecutive days.

What's the funniest/strangest thing that has happened to you in Toronto?
I was sitting on a patio on Queen St not even a month ago when a somewhat inebriated woman stopped to compliment me on my very new, very expensive shoes. A somewhat inebriated me thanked her for paying me, a complete stranger, such a lovely and unexpected compliment. Then she fell forward, knocking my salad plate, a handful of cutlery, and half a glass of wine to the ground while spewing a technicolour stream of vomit onto the very shoes that had been so remarkably pretty only moments ago. She cried as compulsively as I laughed, and a crowd of curious Torontonians quickly joined in, generously offering napkins, mints, and other such items from purses and pockets.

What are some of the changes in Toronto that you have seen in your lifetime?
I probably can't comment on the city's evolution since I haven't been a steady observer. I did visit on all my school breaks as a child, and my diary ( a diary is ancient technology consisting of pen and paper used for recording thoughts and feelings in the dark ages before blogs) has such Toronto-inspired comments as "Went to the Old Spaghetti Factory...did not eat spaghetti"; "Saw Donnie Osmond in some Bible musical at the Elgin Theatre. He has gross chest hair."; "Scarborough smells weird."

What era, day or event in Toronto's history would you like to re-live and why?
May 16, 1996: I pose for a picture with my future husband and George Jetson at Canada's Wonderland, with more love in my heart for George than for Jason. I would love to go back and whisper into my 14-year old ears the things that would one day come to pass, and note whether there was more disgust or disbelief that flooded my face.

Who's your favourite Torontonian?
Stuart McLean. He's almost as funny as I am, and that's the highest compliment I've ever paid anyone.

Can we believe everything you post on your blog?
Believe it? You bet. But my blog should read Based On a True Story because the truth can always be improved upon. Personally, I prefer to call it "glamourized non-fiction." If only James Frey had had such foresight.

Has blogging changed you or enhanced a personality trait?
Nah. My ego was already super-inflated.

Do you have a favourite post from your blog?
My posts are my babies; I say I love them all equally, but they know it's not true.

Have you had your 15 minutes yet?
Not hardly. But I'm holding out: 15 minutes just ain't gonna cut it for this girl.

Lose any friends or muck something up because of a post?
Most people who know me in real life think my blog is tame compared to the damage I tend to do in person. Of course, I do tend to talk with my fists.

Ever met a stranger who already knew you through your blog? How was that?
Once I was sitting beside a stranger at the library, and he was reading my blog online. He asked if I had read it before, and when I said that I had, he said "That shit's insane." He's more right than wrong.

Fav bloggers?
My favourite bloggers are the ones who leave comments when they drop by. Without them, I'd just be arguing with myself. I'd probably go back to wearing too much eye liner and writing emo lyrics in the dark.

What's happening in Toronto right now that the rest of us should be watching?
What's not happening in Toronto right now? This city is so alive it would be a shame to sit back and watch - get out and join in.

You have the opportunity to gather with 5 of your regular readers - who are they, where do you meet and what do you talk about?
At this point, I have promised cheesecake and cocktails to more people than I can count. If I could only extend 5 invitations, I would have the incomparable Becky Bumblefuck, the wildly entertaining mother of 10, Kim, the indefatigable Lorna, the King of Touch You Last, Dave, and the biggest-hearted woman I have ever known, 3T. We would sit on the too-white furniture in my red, red room, and talk about the one thing we all love - me.

If your blog were a food, what food would it be?
Vodka martini, shaken, 2 olives.

Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask random people throughout the world?
Who wants to buy me a drink?

If you could gather all of the bloggers of the world together into one room and tell them one thing, what would it be?
Punctuation is your friend.

Reader Reviews and Comments

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I LOVED the ego bit!

Posted by: Wenchy at July 15, 2006 12:36 PM

Jay is only marginally funnier than Stewart Maclean, but that is saying something profound about her. she modestly did not tell you she's deliriously romantic, rousingly Canadian, profoundly philanthropic and, as of the last time she wrote about her head, bald. Could there a more potent combination?

Posted by: Lorna at July 15, 2006 12:43 PM

I'll buy you a drink Jay! :-)
Jay's blog Kill the Goat is at the TOP of my list of my all time favorite blogs! Her talent for writing is amazing. Her ability to bring me to a wide range of emotions, from laughing hysterically, to shocking tears, (she knows which post I refer to)has me chacking for new posts more than a few times daily. :-)

There is no better blog you could feature.

3T

Posted by: 3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) at July 15, 2006 2:09 PM

Jay! It's so nice to see you're as full of crap here as you are at home! NICE!~

I'm so glad other people will be exposed to you. Take precautions people, just as you would any time you fear exposure to something you know isn't quite right.

Thank you so very much for picking me as one of the five. Of course, I'll need to come to terms with the whole red room thing (The Shining left a huge impression on me) but other than that, I'm so there.

Love you too.

Posted by: Mongakim at July 15, 2006 4:59 PM

Jay rocks! Her wit and honesty suck me into her stories no matter how long they are! ;)

Posted by: OGO at July 15, 2006 5:21 PM

As long as Jay continues to Blog, the Terrorists will never win.

(At least that's what Oprah told me)

Posted by: K.Restoule at July 15, 2006 7:27 PM

Um, My name seems to be missing there. But then again I've just been stalking you. By the way, that stain in the curtain on your bedroom window? Soak in Club Soda and then wash in cold water. Shoule take it right out. Congrats hun. Great interview.

Posted by: Tommy at July 15, 2006 7:35 PM

Kill the Goat's at the top of my list too. For the same reasons everyone else said, the humour, the insanity (did everyone else say that???) but also because the words are all in the best possible order and are spelled correctly... That's Gold.

Posted by: deeleea [TypeKey Profile Page] at July 15, 2006 8:20 PM

Jay is one of the funniest and talented writers I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Love the girl to bits, she's so damn human!

Posted by: Jude at July 15, 2006 10:20 PM

Jay's blog inspires me to become a better writer. She's so talented.

Posted by: Miss.Emily at July 16, 2006 12:42 AM

sweet, you've been interviewed!!!
(notice the punctuation;))

Posted by: better safe than sorry at July 16, 2006 11:55 AM

the hallmark of a great interview is that you feel you "know" the person better after than before. thanks for the insight!

Posted by: melissa at July 16, 2006 12:11 PM

Oh, that's just great. This is another bloody link I have to make from my blog. Thanks a lot.

Posted by: Mark Base at July 16, 2006 1:55 PM

Cheesecake and cocktails? If I bring the coffee can I be #6 on your list? I promise to leave the kids at home.

Posted by: warcrygirl at July 16, 2006 2:19 PM

excellente Jay! You know Donny Osmond is still big over in England? People still faint for him. I haven;t been to Toronto since I was a pre-teen. Remember the tv set in the hotel though!

Posted by: mrsmogul at July 16, 2006 5:11 PM

Jay is SO modest too. What's not to love?

Posted by: The Phoenix at July 16, 2006 7:49 PM

Sweet Jay is my blogger hero. When I grow up I want to be just like her.

Posted by: bornfool at July 16, 2006 9:58 PM

Great, you're going to give her an even bigger head than she already has. And, if that happens, then you know we've already let the terrorists win.

Posted by: mojo shivers at July 17, 2006 4:52 AM

The Kill the Goat fanclub's about to get a whole lot bigger. You rock, Jay!

Posted by: kat_e at July 17, 2006 9:49 AM

Jay's blog is always entertaining, usually enlightening and something I look forward to reading...Cheers to you, Jay!

Posted by: Ellen at July 17, 2006 12:01 PM

Jay is the first stranger I've met online through blogging and I've been a loyal reader ever since. Her writing is so consistently excellent that it makes me crap my pants--figuratively speaking. Looking forward to being a reader twenty years from now.

Posted by: Dave at July 17, 2006 12:09 PM

There are 4 people that are saved in my favorites, Dad Gone Mad, Kim at my10kidfamily and Jay and her flippin goat :0)
I love reading her in spite of her being Canadian and me having no clue about Toronto.

Posted by: MP at July 17, 2006 1:47 PM

That gentleman was wrong. That shit is not insane. It's excessively sane, actually.

Posted by: jason evans at July 17, 2006 1:49 PM

All of your answers are exactly why I love your blog.

Posted by: Jolynn at July 17, 2006 1:55 PM

i always learn from my daily reading of goat killer alas if only she'd been around when i was in my prime - ee cummings

Posted by: rudder at July 17, 2006 2:20 PM

Jay, you're the only person I know who might tempt me to go to a place that's too fucking cold for me.

Posted by: Bud Buckley at July 18, 2006 1:02 PM

The blogosphere wouldn't be the same without Jay. I can't remember how I found her blog, but I'm glad I did.

Posted by: Great Dane Addict at July 18, 2006 2:00 PM

I like the fact that I just learned that mints can clean vomit off of footwear.

WICKED!

Jay's blog is excellent. A wonderfully written scrap book of incredible words.

Posted by: Jorge at July 18, 2006 2:43 PM

I'll buy you a drink next when I get to Toronto - not sure when that might be mind you. But I have a feeling that we might be excellent drinking buddies!

Posted by: Zanna at July 18, 2006 10:22 PM

What's wrong with writing emo lyrics in the dark? I do that all the time. I thought everybody did.

Posted by: gary at July 19, 2006 11:57 AM

*blushes*
You just made my day, Babe.
And you are a star for countless reasons, but 'laughing when someone hurls fluorescent vomit at your shoes' takes the cake. ;)

Posted by: becky at July 20, 2006 10:45 AM

I suppose I could buy you a drink love.. but you'd have to nip over to the UK for it, chances are not good of me making it to Canada, I'll definitely put on a cheesecake or 2 for you both though (because obviously Jason is also extended the drinking invite)

Posted by: Vics at July 20, 2006 11:33 AM

That BBFK Jay mentions... I think I know her from somewhere...

Posted by: Lever at July 21, 2006 5:44 AM

Miss Jay is a doll and a delight. Her blog always lifts my spirits, no more so than when she's describing some horrible thing that's happened to her!

Posted by: Carl V. at July 21, 2006 8:36 AM

Miss Jay is the bomb, baby. We're talkin ultra cool. She runs an awesome blog and visits others and COMMENTS frequently. You don't get that from allot of folks. And true to her word, I am unaware of any goats being beaten on her blog, sodomized perhaps, but not beaten.
For some reason goats won't come near my blog...

Posted by: ozymandiaz at July 21, 2006 9:38 AM

Jay is one of my favorite reads and she's a talented writer.

Posted by: Junebugg at July 22, 2006 4:29 AM

Ooh, new place! I've never been here before. I love your answers... you are one of the funniest and wittiest blogger around!

Posted by: missy at July 22, 2006 4:17 PM

I love Jude's response: She's so damn human!

Yes, she is!

Posted by: Neil at July 23, 2006 11:58 AM

TOO GOOD on TOO many levels!

Posted by: meowkaat at July 23, 2006 1:51 PM

Jay, I love your entry on the U-Haul. The sarcasm, the wit, I laughed...You are indeed a talented writer. Good luck.

Posted by: Reddo at August 24, 2006 6:50 PM

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