Certain diction gags me. Word amalgamations like "Retro Pop Punk" really chew at me like a tapeworm. Equally disgusting is Afterparty, a six-piece nightmare that describes their sound as, "Blondie meets The Clash in rehab."

Wrong. Rehab, maybe, but Mick Jones and Joe Strummer actually knew how to create compelling riffs and melodies. In "Strength In Magazines", the "bah-bah-bahbahbah" choppiness of Avital and Lavi's guitars falls short of an epic masterpiece.

If you're used to calling a hunk of wood your "baby" then you need to hit up the Vintage Guitar Show at the Thornhill Community Center this Saturday and Sunday. There's something for everyone - whether you're looking to trade in, purchase an addition to your collection or just spend a weekend afternoon.

Ed Mcdonald, sponsor and head of Tundra Music, said the festival is "designed for people that have things, they're not really sure what they are, they're not sure what the values are, they might not know how to play them, they may have an inflated idea of what they're worth and may be counting on that money that'll never come, or by the same token they might have something that is very valuable and they were gonna give it away or put it in the garbage."

Let's have a beer and celebrate. The rest of the world has finally realized that Toronto is a hotbed for music! The goal of any serious Canadian band is to break into the US market, stirring up media and label attention. The Warped Tour is an amazing chance for local bands to not only do just that but also to play alongside their favourite bands, make industry contacts, sell merch, travel and have a jam-packed summer!

I'm under the opinion that Saturdays should always be rowdy. You've worked hard for it. You've pinched every penny all week. You probably won't be making it to 10am mass Sunday morning any ways. This particular Saturday was a wicked one, yet for some reason the crowd was stagnant as a pale green scum-pond. There was no lack of passion coming from promoters or bands... so... I blame it on the $6 drink price. People simply weren't drunk enough to lose their inhibitions and throw themselves around like rag dolls of habit. "Well, there WERE a few crazy emo kids," my friend John reminded. "They were just flying around the pit like 'Aghhhh I Hate My Dad!!!' ... It was awesome!"

Welcome to the Notorious Clubs series. This is where we look at clubs with some of the shadiest promoters, rudest staff, nastiest owners, worst sound systems, highest drink prices and loathsome activities in Toronto. Today we'll take a look at HYPE in Brampton: home of ACDC, GNR and Bon Jovi Tribute Bands, rude bouncers and cutthroat business practices.



The first thing that struck me about Hype was how it felt more like a teen center than a concert venue. With its pool table, small stage and sports figures on the walls, I wasn't too enthused... but then again, I've seen worse. The excruciatingly painful sound system is aimed at making your ears ring loudly to be sure your experience here sticks in your mind for days afterwards. While the lighting is OK and there are plenty of booths to sit down at, you will soon find that looks can be deceiving. "We feel honoured to play at the only club where you CAN'T drink at the bar," Latefallen declared onstage.

You know the bands are really good when you can ignore the fact that you've only had one drink, the people pushing you out of the way to take pictures, the drunks falling over and the feelings of sheer aloofness that ensue on a Saturday night at the Speakeasy. While the vibe was leaning a little towards weirdsville, I focused on the talent before me, struggling to ignore everything else that feverishly itched my brain.