Photo: "Stay on Track" by VladGlebov, member of the blogTO Flickr pool.

Your Toronto morning news roundup for Tuesday May 06, 2008:

Robert Smith, better known as "that Scottish dude who loudly extols the virtues of a pint of Keiths", admitted to possessing and distributing child pornography which will likely net him some jail time. No word yet on whether beer ads will get any better.

In a significant about-face from the usual talk of increased police enforcement, Toronto's executive committee earmarked nearly $5 million dollars towards the hiring of new social workers to help our city's panhandlers. People with no fixed income don't really respond to well to tickets anyways...

I've always wanted to hate the Social. I dislike Queen St. West in general and nearly every time I go there, whether by myself or with friends, I find myself stuck in some corner, watching bored people evaluate their standing on the social ladder and rehash the same-old misadventures they hope to top that night.

My roommate, being a newcomer to the east end, is still very fond of the opposite side of the city and has often insisted that I accompany him on the $10 cab ride for what he always promises will be "a good time".

I pretty much always refuse, even in the face of admittedly excellent artists such as Rye Rye, but it wasn't until I heard that Erol Alkan was due to hit the Social that my resolve started to crumble.

Here is one of the most reputedly down-to-earth DJs of the day spinning at a club I have an admitted (albeit unproven) bias against. Not only that but he's very talented and he usually plays much larger (and more expensive) venues in other cities.

What was I to do? I couldn't exactly pass this kind of opportunity up.

What other awards show hands out glass butt plugs? They're just so... functional.

As Josey Vogels, one of the announcers noted, you wouldn't want to use an Emmy in the same way. An Oscar might work but it would require one helluva warm-up.

All kidding aside, of much greater importance than the sexual possibilities presented to the winners are the films that brought them the attention they deserve.

The Feminist Porn Awards are not about supporting either mainstream pornography. We have the AVNs for that. Unlike most awards shows, they want to recognize porn that isn't content with the same, old conventions of the cultural entity we are all wank off to.

Why be boring when you can actually show female pleasure or people of diverse backgrounds, body-types and fantasies getting it on? Whatever your sexual orientation, I would imagine most people are into the idea of getting off to people they like the look of getting it on because they want to.

We live in a world where people are slowly coming around to the idea that there's no right or wrong way to get off and though the mainstream porn industry is usually one of the first adopters when it comes to technology, they are notoriously reticent when it comes to pushing social boundaries. Try finding a bisexual porno...

Like any major urban centre, Toronto has its landmarks and attractions; things the visitors are encouraged to see. From opera to architecture we're used to seeing these objects of civic pride measured against other cities knickknacks in the never-ending competition for tourist bucks.

Then there are the activities you don't usually hear about, the ones you can't necessarily enjoy with the entire family. Some are praiseworthy (gay couples from the States coming up here to get married), others leave a distinctly bad taste in my mouth (swinger couples visiting Club Wicked; is that the best we can do?) and a few are really weird (Reg Hartt screenings; more about him later).

Somewhere in between the last two is Dimitri the Lover and his Toronto Real Men meetings. If you don't already know, he is the latest iteration in a long line of pick-up artists (PUA) offering up the secrets of seduction to hapless guys all over the country.

This is the first in a series of interviews with up-and-coming promoters who are throwing parties around Toronto.

I first hit up a Primary Colors party back in September of last year. With the lurid title of Big Dicks & Barbie Dolls, it was hard to not be intrigued despite having some misgivings about artists successfully attempting to say anything interesting when it comes to sex. Nevertheless, I went and had a fantastic time.

One night at the Boat and a loft party later, I was definitely into Alex Coleurs and Co.'s vision of themed, cohesive, dirty dance parties. The artists he brings in are varied and even the resident duo of DJs, Girls Like Us, aren't filler padding out the set list as is sometimes the case when promoters take a turn at the deck.

Most of all, Alex walks that really fine line between art and partying and makes it really fucking hot so I was interested in discovering what he was all about.

Photo: "college" by blogTO Flickr pooler edanscime.

Your morning news roundup for Wednesday April 2nd, 2008:

The police, feeling rather fly after the last two Comfort Zone busts, have gone after Harvey's hookers and other assorted denizens of the sketchy strips around the Church-Seaton neighborhood. The kicker is that out of the 287 people arrested, only 23 of them lived in the area; a fact that doesn't bode well for the next area they decide to hang out at.

Apparently those environmentally-friendly tetra paks the LCBO are so fond of don't cut it with the Toronto Environment Alliance who take issue with the fact that they're made out of virgin pulp, aluminium and plastic; some not-so-green ingredients. The LCBO counters that refillable bottles are not practical despite evidence to the contrary.