Saturday August 14th

COMMUNITY | Parkdale Bazaar
You're going to notice lots of vendors taking over Cowan Ave. at Queen this afternoon selling homemade merchandise. Don't be alarmed though, it's not the hippie version of Red Dawn, it's the Parkdale Bazaar. The Parkdale Liberty Economic Development Corporation (I should have just typed PLEDC) are hosting a series of markets giving locals and outlet to showcase things like zines, art, clothing, plants and crafts. If you live in the area you may have no choice but to check out the market, but if you're not, you should definitely bike down there and support some local talent.
Queen W & Cowan, Free, All-Day

MUSIC | Arcade Fire
I know by now you are probably overwhelmed with everyone talking about Arcade Fire and how amazing their new album, The Suburbs is. But everyone's right, it's awesome! If you're in your right mind you've had it on repeat for the past week. You also probably saw their Madison Square Garden show streamed live on YouTube last week. If you did I bet you went out the next day and bought your ticket for their Olympic Island show. If you still need convincing, just go watch clips from it here. Janelle Monae and locals The Sadies open. Yeah $64 is pretty steep, but worth it. You don't want miss out on what is probably going to be one of the best shows of the summer.
Olympic Island, $64, 4pm

PERFORMANCE | The Classic Supremes with Colin Mochrie
The Classic Supremes are an improv troupe. They've been around for a year now. Okay you've probably never heard of them but they're putting on their one year anniversary show this Saturday. Wait, keep reading! You know who you have heard of? Colin Mochrie. Yeah, you do know him. He's been on episodes of Little Mosque on the Prairie, Hotbox and Death Comes to Town... He was also a regular on Whose Line is it Anyway? Yeah, that guy! Well he's the special guest at the show and he's hilarious! So yeah, you probably want to go.
Comedy Bar, 945 Bloor St W, $5, 8pm

MUSIC | Crystal Castles
Local electro-heroes Crystal Castles are bringing their Hard Rocking Summer tour to the Kool Haus tonight for what can only be a sweaty night of crushing electro beats and crazy dancing. Crystal Castles just released their second album, confusingly enough named the same as their first and always bring a wild, unpredictable show. Also on the show is Rusko, UK's Siden and Destructo. You WILL NOT get electrocuted at this show, if that's what you've gathered from reading this. But if that's something your into, I'm sure someone there can arrange it for you.
Kool Haus, 132 Queens Quay E, $30, 9pm

PARTY | 90's Party
Some people like to leave the 90's as a time they'd rather forget and some still embrace it full heartedly with their Saved by the Bell box sets and Nirvana T-Shirts. Neutral falls into the latter category with their party dedicated to everything 90s. Now's your chance to jam to the songs that you secretly YouTube when no one's around. Tonight though you don't have to hide your love for TLC or Garbage. Also make sure you bust out your best LA Gears and oversized denim jackets because they'll be giving away cash and drink prizes to the best 90s costumes.
Neutral, 349A College St, $5, 10pm

Sunday August 15th

MUSIC | Ty Segall
San Francisco garage rockers Ty Segall put out the great "Melted" this year on Goner Records and are bringing they're wild live show to The Shop under Parts & Labour. I can't think of a better way to spend a Sunday night. Royal Baths (formerly Baths), Teenager and Estrogen Highs open. If you're really worried about staying out too late on a work night, BUCK UP! -- or make sure to check them out at Sonic Boom at 6pm for free.
Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St W, $9, 9pm

COMEDY | Laugh Sabbath presents: The Loner Show
If you're sick of stand up, sketch or improv comedy, check out The Loner Show at the Rivoli. It's a night of solo comedy without any of those forms. This show his hosted by the hilarious Kathleen Phillips and features big local acts like Katie Crown, Chris Locke, Nathan Fielder and David Dineen-Porter.
Rivoli, 322 Queen St W, $5, 9pm

Ongoing

FILM | Toronto After Dark
It's true what they say, freaks come out when the lights go down and for the next week they'll all be hanging out at The Bloor Cinema to watch some bizarre but wicked horror movies. Filmmakers such as Hostel's Eli Roth and I Spit On Your Grave's Steven R. Monroe will be in attendance at certain screenings doing Q&A's, so you can ask them exactly what traumatic event happened in their childhood that made them go down this route.
The Bloor Cinema, 506 Bloor St W

FOOD | Hot & Spicy Food Festival
I don't know about you, but I like my food spicy. None of this Franks Red Hot stuff, I mean getting teary eyed, sweating, nose running, itchy head, tomato face -- general uncomfortableness. If you're like me you'll be at the Hot & Spicy Food Festival at Harbourfront all weekend. You can check out chefs facing off with the spiciest of ingredients at the International Iron Chef Competition, or see The Rhyming Chef combine hip-hop with professional food demonstrations. Make sure to bring a carton of milk to cool down your mouth, otherwise you might get tempted to jump into the lake... and you don't want to do that.
Harbourfront Centre, 235 Queens Quay West, Free

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Photo: "Dutch Dreams" by Phil Marion, member of the blogTO Flickr group.