MTV stars? Check. Amateurs competing for $5,000? Check. Dirty show? Check. Comedians so strong that they can make fun of their material before delivery? We even have that covered. Follow me as I walk you through This Week In Comedy...

MON SEPT 10 / TIM SIM'S FRESH MEAT COMPETITION / SECOND CITY / 51 MERCER / 8PM / $12

The Tim Sims Encouragement Fund was established in memory of Toronto comedic performer, Tim Sims. A hand-picked field of 21 competitors will each have three minutes to prove that they should move onto the finals where the winner will receive $5,000.00 and a scholarship to the Toronto Second City Training Centre. Encouragement funds like these are extremely important as they provide the backing a new artist needs to spend more time on their art and following their passion. Your host for the evening will be DJ Demers, himself a Tim Sim's finalist a few years back. (Disclaimer: I'm in this competition as well.)

FRI SEPT 14 & SAT SEPT 15 / NEIL HAMBURGER / COMEDY BAR / 945 BLOOR W / 1030PM / $13 IN ADVANCE

You're a stand-up veteran and have seen it all: social commentary, absurdist humor, character work...and now you want something different. Well, it doesn't get much more unique than a character looking at his notes and saying disgustedly, "I've been saddled with some real duds tonight." Brilliant.

FRI SEPT 14 / CALWYN SHURGOLD'S COMEDY 101 / TEQUILA BOOKWORM / 512 QUEEN W / 11PM / $5

The last time I went to this show, Calwyn had the entire crowd dying with his TLC Addiction video (featured). This show is absolutely stacked, with killers like Alex Pavone and Dave Merheje stopping by to slay the crowd. I last saw Alex crush at a taping of Late Night With Matty D. At $5 a head, this is the best value since the creation of the Jr. Chicken at McDonald's.

SAT SEPT 15 / DIRTY VAPOUR SHOW WITH NEIL 'HAWK' GRIFFIN / VAPOUR SOCIAL / 896 COLLEGE / 9PM / $7

This is going to get raunchy. Like, really raunchy. Josh Infald has enough subversive material to fill a library and your headliner, Neil Griffin, has a joke about a bullet wound and his...you get the idea. But seriously, I need to give credit where credit is due: Neil Griffin is easily the hardest working comedian with a day job in Toronto. Since starting his career seven months ago, he's produced and appeared in over 150 comedy shows. Love him or hate him, you cannot fault that kind of work ethic.

About the Author: This is Michael Jagdeo, and I refuse to write about myself in the third-person. My blog, Diary of a Stand-up Comedian, teaches you how to be - and how not to be - a comedian in Toronto.