Too Much Stuff & I Can't Stop Buying

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Dear Ask blogTO:

I have a lot of stuff and it's getting to be a little too much. Not only that, I like to buy stuff. Even when I don't need it and I sure don't have the space for it. I don't have any self-control and things are piling up. It's getting really hard to get around my place.

I can't have people over anymore because there's no room for them and it's embarrassing to have to always explain why I have all this stuff.

It's totally out of control and I don't know what to do. I spent a lot of money on a lot of the stuff and I know they're worth something. But I look around at all of it and I don't know what to do.

Is there anything you can suggest?
-packrat

Hey Packrat,

Many of us sometimes indulge in "retail therapy" when we want a pick-me-up. Some of us REALLY enjoy that good feeling we get from buying things and it can feel like a high. So much so, that the feeling can be addictive.

Ya, I said addictive. Let's face it, it's easy to get a retail fix just about anywhere. Not only that, stores and credit card companies make it easy for us to buy things on credit and get us in debt. And we live in a society where owning and buying lots of things is considered an admirable thing: more things the better!

But when stuff gets the best of us, that's when it's necessary to reconsider what it all means. Are all the things you have worth the feelings of being surrounded by too much stuff and not being in control? Is it more important to have all these things around you versus being able to invite your friends and family over?

My bet is that buying, keeping and valuing things have become a comfort for you. It's what you know and think you are controlling: Material things won't let you down. If it's a habit you have to break, it's got to be done in steps. Quitting cold turkey ("I'm never gonna buy anything again!") usually doesn't work with other habits like smoking or over-eating and it likely won't help you here either.

First: Acknowledge that you, all your things and your living conditions are situations you need to work on. Second: Think about what all of these things you have mean to you and how they make you feel when you are buying them and once you get them home. Are your things and your feelings for them a substitute for something else? Third: Understand that you are in control. Not your things. Four: Decide on a replacement for your buying and collecting behaviour. For the time being, maybe it's finding new homes for some of your things by selling them on eBay or having a yard sale if you feel the need to go shopping.

It's overwhelming when you don't know where to start. But a good place to start is by going through your stuff and doing the "keep", "sell" and "trash" sort. It would be even better if you have someone you trust help you with the sorting. Once you get going, it won't be nearly as scary as it seems now. And most importantly, remember that material objects are never substitutes for real relationships and experiences.